I find it hard to comprehend that it has been five years since Robbie died. But here we are, half a decade removed from those horrific days. It was at approximately 8:20 p.m., nearly an hour after we turned off the machinery that he took his final breaths. He was surrounded by aunts, uncles, grandmother and his fierce doctors and I only hope he had some sense of the love in the room.
Unfortunately, when I am reminded of Robbie, most often my mind flashes back to those seven months and not the twenty years that preceded them. His absence is keenly felt all too often, such as at Shore Leave as hourly, audiences were encouraged to participate in the poker tournament now bearing his name. I see a film or television show and wish I could share the experience with him. And then there are other times where Deb or I feel his absence keenly for no particular reason.
I also think about the kind of man he would be today. Had he survived, what would his final course of study been and what sort of work would he be doing? So many what ifs and such wasted potential.
We still see some of his friends and keep in touch with others via Facebook. Clearly, he left his mark on them all and they continue to visit his grave or post on his birthday.
This is the sort of anniversary I don’t like observing but he continues to occupy my mind and leaves a void that will never be filled.
I miss you, kid.