Reflecting on 34 Years of Married Life

I am teaching kids ranging from 14-17 and as of today, I am now married more than twice their ages. Today, Deb and I celebrate our 34th anniversary.

In the wake of Kate’s recent marriage, it has given me occasion to pause and reflect about the journey we’ve been on. We started at 22, less than a year after we graduated college. We were working our first jobs and living in a tiny apartment, the second floor of house in Huntington that fortunately had a business below so we never bothered one another.

We’ve moved a few times, and to a few states, and raised two wonderful kids along the way. We each have had job turnover and turmoil, the worst being a stretch when we were both out of work and more than a little nervous. Today, we are both fairly happy in our current careers with the notion of retirement just beginning to appear on the horizon.

One thing we miss these days is not being able to chat at a moment’s notice. Even when I had a publishing job, she could call or email at any moment and be fairly certain to reach me. Now, I’m in the classroom and out of touch for stretches of time. It’s a bit of an adjustment. We still share what’s going on in our jobs and we probably know far too much about the people and projects the other is involved in so it can feel like dual careers but just don’t expect me to fully understand all the tech handles.

We talk. We talk when we walk the dogs together or as we prepare meals. We enjoy one another’s company, even if it is while grocery shopping. Then there are the companiable silences where no one feels obligated to fill the void.

While we have forged a life together, we make certain we give each other the space they need so Deb can spin or sing with the choir or go to her knitting groups while I try and find time for creative writing or the occasional appearance. After all, it gives us more to talk about.

Our life together has been a good one, certainly with its highs and lows, but we know we can always count on the other to be there for a hug or an ear or tangible help. I wouldn’t have it any other way and today, we celebrate this enriched life.

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