Three years later it still feels unreal.
A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of Robbie and images of him remain within sight throughout the house. Still, when I think of him, my mind often goes back to that final harrowing week rather than other times of his brief life. As a result, the grief lingers despite the lessening of the emotional pain that comes with time.
We’ve continued to move forward, not letting his loss derail our lives. There remain boxes and bags of his things that we haven’t brought ourselves to sort or trash and I watch his peers becoming adults now, post-college, furthering their educations or beginning their careers and I can’t help but wonder what he would be doing now.
This year we finally planted some flowers around his gravestone and I go frequently to water them and ensure they will thrive and reseed themselves so the space grows lush. I find I can’t linger there, do my watering, talk to him a bit and move on.
Today, we’re trying to distract ourselves as best we can but the memories are particularly strong and we miss him with unusual intensity.