13 Years

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We had occasion to visit Robbie’s grave for the first time in a few years, but we cut it short since there was a joyous internment occurring several feet away. Still, it was good to be there.

Time continues to tick by. We finally got to meet Robbie Santiago, the third child named in his honor. He’s adorable, of course, and it sparked all sorts of what ifs in my mind.

My mind continues to dwell on those final days and I find myself always thrown back to 2008 whenever a story involves leukemia or children dying. Other times, I am caught up short by something that triggers memories. And this year, for whatever reason, I find myself more keenly aware of mortality, the sense that my remaining years may well be counted on my fingers and toes (or not, who can say).

Life would be so much richer were he still with us and I continue to contemplate on the path his life would have taken.


5 thoughts on “13 Years

  1. My thoughts are with you, Deb and Kate. It has been 51 years since my older sister died at age 15. I think about her often, these days, as my daughter moves ever closer to that age. I think about my father who died, a few years younger than I am now, and never saw either of his daughters turn 16. I know my life’s trajectory would have been completely different if I had grown to adulthood and beyond with my strong-willed big sister.

    The “what ifs” are limitless, but ultimately we all need to hold on to the memories of those we lost, embrace those we have and diligently work to make wonderful memories for others after we are gone.

    Having friends honor Robbie by naming their kids after him is wonderful. My mother, in the last years of her life, was able to temper some of the great sadness in the loss of her daughter, Cindy, with the delight she found in her new (and only) granddaughter, Cynthia.

  2. Hi Bob,
    Thinking back on the days at DC, this post hits me. Though I perceive a regret in your writing, I hope I also read a realization that you enjoyed the time you had together when you had it. I’ve been lucky so far with this and always thought that when ones we love leave, it challenges us left to strive even more to make the most of what time we have left for ourselves. Remember to always reflect on the good times, since the not so good don’t matter anymore. Will try to remember to support leukemia research next time extra funds come my way.


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